Dealing With The Unexpected

We found out yesterday that Fordham is going to continue holding classes online for the rest of the semester. Immediately, everyone started posting photos from the past two semesters on Instagram and it was honestly really sad to scroll through post after post grieving the loss of the rest of the year.

There's a lot of fear and anxiety wrapped up in all of the recent events surrounding the coronavirus. It seemed as though trouble was far away in China and in Italy, and then suddenly study abroad students started getting sent home, the first cases started popping up in Washington and then New York, and now our nation is in a state of emergency. For those alive - and more aware - during 9/11, the recession in 2008, the Cold War, and other various (more recent) troubling times, there's probably an overwhelming sense of familiar fear. But for us college kids and younger this is a little bit more unknown.

There's something particularly scary and unsettling about your country being on-edge and unsure of the next steps to take for its people. Obviously there are really nerve-wracking things that many adults have to fear that we young adults don't quite have on our shoulders yet, but that doesn't diminish the sadness that we feel as our semester is cut short. Time spent with friends, a last semester for seniors lost, coming home from study abroad programs early, having long-awaited study abroad programs cancelled, or losing the opportunity to get more involved on campus before applying for internships are just some of the things that we feel cheated of, no matter how necessary it is to keep everyone safe. It's a time filled with disappointment and anxiety that easily leaves us feeling uneasy and lacking purpose + direction. So, then, what do we do? How do we cope?

For one, I think it's important not to think of this as lost time, just a different use of it. If we get into the mindset that this is only a loss, the next few months will be a lot more difficult than they need to be. This is definitely a loss - there is no question about it. But that does not mean there aren't things to gain as well. Here are a couple of things that have been good for me to focus on in order to utilize this new time that we've been given:

1. Keeping up with schoolwork and taking this as an opportunity to reset and get organized for the rest of the semester's workload.

2. Watching new movies that I haven't gotten to see yet.

3. Composing a list of people that I haven't been able to talk to in a while that I want to call and check in on.

4. Spending time with my family.

I want to say a little something about this one really quick. Coming back home from college unexpectedly is definitely a drastic change that many students were not ready (or hoping) for. I am really thankful to have a family that I love and that loves me, but I understand that there may be a very real struggle that comes with this for a lot of families. Hopefully this is not the case for you, but if it is I just want you to know that you are not alone. Whether you seriously struggle feeling loved or loving while you're with your family or not, I want you to take this opportunity to make one (only one!!) conscious choice a day to love a little more than you normally would. And it can be anything, so interpret this how you want, but I'll give you an example. The consistent fight that my sister and I get into is that she wants me to answer a million and one questions when I get home from school. It's how she cares about me and shows me that she loves me, but I always get impatient. So, my one thing for the day could be humoring her and answering all of the questions she has for me. Just a conscious decision to be more patient and take the time to let her in. I think you'll be surprised by the impact this could have on your family and your relationships.

5. Taking advantage of time that can be dedicated to hobbies (for me that's journaling/writing).

6. Making a list of books to read (all suggestions welcome!!!!)

7. Working out

There are a lot of other things that you can do to take advantage of this time at home, but I'm just going to leave them at that. The last thing that I will say is no matter how many things you decide to do to keep you busy right now, it will still be so difficult to stay grounded because, at the end of the day, when you lay your head down on your pillow, you will realize that the world is still scary and there is a lot to be afraid of. The only thing keeping me at peace right now is the fact that my future is secure no matter what. It may sound pretty cheesy or delusional to some, but I promise there couldn't be anything that makes more sense in this world to me right now than Jesus Christ. I know for sure that whether I die tomorrow, in twenty years, or sixty, I will be spending eternity with the one who rose again after dying on the cross. But whether you believe, like me, that this will be the case or not, I just want to encourage you to pray Psalm 91 with me for the next ninety-one days:

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Now, many Christians have taken this to mean that if you pray this literally no harm will ever befall you. But if you live in this world you know that death is inevitable and we will all encounter it at some point. Prayer is extremely powerful and can literally change the course of peoples' lives, but the purpose of this prayer is deliverance and salvation. Theologically speaking, deliverance and salvation have to do with eternity, not your time on earth. By believing in Him, you will be given eternal life and you will have nothing to fear even when "the plague that destroys by midday" comes around. It says, "no harm will overtake you." This does not mean that harmful things will never exist. It means that you will not be overtaken, consumed, or won over. It means that those things that are harmful will not have the final say, because God works through the hard things. When you believe that you belong to the one who created you and died for you, He will be there even during those times of trouble and you will know that you are not alone.

Remember,

be strong & courageous.

xo. Flannery Grace

P.S. If you feel like you're wrestling with the idea of life being hard or wondering why life can seem so freaking difficult or disappointing, you might want to watch this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv9y-wIShWw