A Little More Me

The first semester of college has introduced some new challenges and lessons about life that I was not expecting. Lots of people say that you'll change when you head off to college, but this means something different for each person. For me, it's meant acknowledging parts of myself that I didn't even realize were there. I've been pushed and pulled a lot this semester, and it's been really freeing for me to feel like I've grown. That probably sounds a little cheesy - but it's true!! I feel like I know myself better and I'm really comfortable being who I am. As I reflect back on the past few months, I find myself thinking about my graduation speech.

Hi! Parents, faculty, other guests, and my fellow classmates, welcome to a celebration of the end of the beginning.

An end-of-year assignment for my Shakespeare English class asked me to consider the concept of nothing, and how it relates to my worldview. It got me thinking about the fact that I started my life knowing pretty much nothing. I entered the world with the instinct to cry, to eat, and to sleep, but those things came naturally. As I grew up, though, I learned to tie my shoes, to brush my teeth, to recite the alphabet, and to count to ten without looking at my fingers. I slowly became more curious about the world around me, and began to learn how to interact with people, add and subtract, read, ride a scooter-- to fall and get hurt. The experiences allowed me to discover that life is full of joy and happiness, but it’s also full of scrapes and bruises. The good and bad come in waves. Each new foaming situation that crashes onto the shore of your life brings change and new lessons that help to establish who you are. They pull you away from that initial “nothing” and push you towards the eventual “something.”

I didn’t begin High School with “nothing,” obviously, but I’m definitely going to be graduating with a little more “something” than I started with. The last four years have been filled with much academic growth - I’ve learned how to cite sources properly (for the most part?), how to find the derivative of a function, how to effectively study for a History test, and the difference between prokaryotes and eukaryotes - and I’m proud of the student I’ve become. I worked hard to get here, and pushed through some frustrating days, assignments, and moments when I just really needed to take a nap.

The past four years have also been filled with much personal growth. When I showed up at Bay Ridge Prep at the end of 9th grade I barely knew anyone and quickly established myself as the shy new girl. Even though I had people to hang out with and was never physically by myself, I felt lonely and unseen, spending much of my time for the first year and a half feeling like an outsider amidst a group of acquaintances. The feeling of loneliness faded, however, as I became more confident and sure of myself within the school and around my peers. With a greater sense of comfort, I was starting to form deeper friendships.

Friendship. I think friendship is one of the most important things in life. A mutual likeness and understanding between two people can teach you how to be selfless, how to have fun, how to forgive and be forgiven, how to love, and how to just enjoy another person’s company. The friendships I’ve made throughout the past four years at BRP have definitely taught me what it means to be a friend, and the importance of having one. Life is not meant to be done alone, so I’m thankful for the relationships that have encouraged and strengthened me along the way. And now we’re leaving.

But leaving is just the end of the beginning. There are so many different chapters of life, and this is the closing of one, but another is about to begin. The key to this next one is perseverance through trial and error. It’s going to be a time of trying on new things and seeing which parts fit, while having serious talks with yourself like, “Do I want to be a lawyer? A parent? A doctor? Or a teacher?” Who do you want to be?

Personally, my deepest calling is to go to developing countries to practice medicine while advocating for better medical care and general quality of life. The dream was inspired by my freshman year medical missions trip to Ethiopia, where I witnessed starving HIV/AIDS positive children living with their families in houses smaller than my dining room table. I began to resent the fact that there are kids living in extreme poverty all over the world who are just being ignored, and swallowing some of the sourest lemons life has to offer, while I enjoy my comfy life back in Brooklyn. Ever since then, I’ve wanted to do something to create lasting change, and this has altered the course I want my life to take.

One of my jobs while I was in Ethiopia was to play with the children while their parents got seen by the doctors, and I happily welcomed this responsibility. We drew for hours; decorating the cement outside a little makeshift clinic with abstract art and designs before eventually moving on to blow bubbles at each other. They covered their little hands in every color of chalk I’d brought, each new shade bringing more happiness into their eyes and reinforcing my desire to one day come back and help more drastically. As I sat on the ground, getting more sunburnt and covered in chalk by the minute, I realized what a privilege it was to be amidst people who have nothing, yet still manage to be so incredibly joyful and life-giving. I think that was the thing that impacted me the most. There’s a certain beauty that comes with having nothing, because it inspires a need to look for the good in things besides possessions and materials or the latest trend. Having nothing gives people character. It makes you thankful for the little things and encourages you to lean on those around you instead of trying to find comfort in other things. I was thoroughly reminded of these truths as I watched the kids dance for joy at the sight of soapy bubbles floating swiftly up into the African sky.

The end of high school is bittersweet in many ways. It signifies the end of childhood, moving out of your parents’ house, and graduating on to the new and unfamiliar days of college; but it also signifies the beginning of your years as an adult - someone who can influence the world, change it, and make it better. So, as a challenge to my fellow classmates, be life giving no matter what you have, and let the next four years set the stage for a lifetime of excitement, kindness, and willingness to really turn that original “nothing” you started out with into your own real, genuine, and inspiring “something."

This speech was something that I had worked hard on and was so proud of. When I look back on the spring and think about the person writing it, I feel that same sense of pride. Proud that I've grown even in the short amount of time that's passed since then. I share all of the same attributes with that girl speaking at her graduation, but I know a little more than she does. In a few years, I'll look back on this moment and know that I can say the same thing about myself now. Although I have no way to know what the future holds or what my career will be, I have faith that what's supposed to happen will happen. I just want to make sure that the excitement I felt standing on the stage at graduation continues to blossom as I work hard to turn my original "nothing" into my own real, genuine, and inspiring "something." With each passing moment I become a little more me.

Remember,

be strong & courageous.

xo.

Flannery Grace