Worthy.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

You are worthy.

This truth gets lost all the time through the words people say to us and the lies we tell ourselves as we look in the mirror. In a world that emphasizes beauty, it’s hard to find our worth and understand what our purpose is even when we don’t feel beautiful.

I vividly remember the first time I ever straightened my hair. I watched as my blonde waves were straightened out, and slowly I became a version of myself that I thought was prettier than before. I couldn’t stop looking in the mirror because of how confident I felt. For the next few years, I straightened my hair almost every day. But even though my hair was straight, the feeling of not being pretty enough didn’t go away, because then I got braces. I didn’t confidently smile again for three years until they came off (I still believe that my teeth are not good enough sometimes). With every change that came to fix the previous doubts about my appearance, some new insecurity would arise. Once I got my braces off, I found something new to worry about. After having hip surgeries in middle school, I didn’t like how my legs looked in jeans, so I didn’t start wearing them consistently again until this past year. It took me six years. And there are still days when my hips don’t look right, my hair is too curly, my smile looks particularly NOT the way I want it to, and there’s a pimple in the middle of my forehead. Well, that's when all the makeup and hair straightening in the world won’t remind me of my inner worth. I’m sure you’ve had days like that too.

As a society, we've altered the standard of beauty to fit more people, yet we haven't actually solved the problem; people are still being defined by how beautiful they are. Girls everywhere try to embrace their flaws in order to get past what they don't like about themselves and achieve a mindset of thinking they're beautiful. But some days it's just so hard to feel beautiful, and that's why this does not work. You may look at yourself in the mirror and, no matter how hard you try, that word just doesn’t describe what you see. For this reason, I think that "beauty" should not be what you aim for -- whether you're a size 0 or a size 8. So how do we find our worth? I believe that it doesn’t have to do with beauty, it has to do with being at peace with who you are no matter what you look like. Finding peace when you notice those new wrinkles, finding peace when your hair doesn’t look the way you want it to, and finding peace when the girl next to you may be prettier than you. Not training yourself to think you're beautiful, but accepting the things you might not necessarily like and realizing that you're not defined by them and that they don't have any control over you. Being beautiful is not the ultimate goal, realizing your worth is.

But how do we do this?

This year I realized that, like most girls, I only wear half of the things in my closet. I don’t feel cute enough in most of them, which means that so many clothes I once felt proud to wear go to waste because I changed my mind and don’t think I look good in them anymore. Knowing this, I decided to change things up over the past few months. Every day I wore something that I hadn’t worn in a while. And you know what? I made it through each day, and even received compliments on quite a few of the new pieces I decided to wear. This made me realize a couple of things. First, feeling beautiful doesn't need to be what gets you through the day and makes you happy. Second, we tend to see a lot more flaws in ourselves than other people do. That tiny little scar above your lip that you're self-conscious about? I didn't even notice it. That shirt that you think makes your skin look too pale? I think it's super cute and you look great. Also, who cares if you're pale. Point is, I think that the emphasis on beauty can be detrimental (and misleading) to our perceptions of ourselves and cloud our judgement on what the ultimate sources of joy in life are. I should be able to have a great day whether I'm wearing my favorite pink shirt or not.

Okay, but don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that it's bad to feel pretty and I definitely don't think you should go outside wearing old clothes that don't fit you just to prove that beauty doesn't matter. That's not what I did. I wore things in my closet that I still think are cute, but somehow talked myself into thinking that they're not cute on me. By ignoring those lies inside my head, I was able to wear those clothes and actually started to like them again. So, thinking you're beautiful and being proud of your body is a fabulous thing. I hope that you love yourself and are confident when that skirt fits you in all the right places. If you've faithfully been working out and you've gotten stronger or lost some weight, good for you!! Celebrate that progress. My main point, though, is that it shouldn't be the focus of our lives. When insecurities rise or that shirt doesn't fit you anymore because you're not as thin as you used to be, your life is not over. You could possibly take that as an opportunity to start exercising to make sure you're staying healthy, but you definitely shouldn't suddenly be questioning who you are or whether or not your existence is valuable. Your worth should come from things that define who you are on the inside - your loyalty, kindness, gentleness, selflessness, ability to advocate for others, your endurance, strength, courage, and love. These are the things that matter the most and should not be swayed according to what you look like on the outside.

You are worthy.

Remember,

be strong & courageous.

xo.

Flannery Grace